Child Abuse Effects: The Feeling of Shame

[Tautoko Mai]

The feeling of shame is one definite consequence of child abuse. Being sexually abused as a child is a very traumatic experience and walking with your head up high isn't possible anymore the minute you realize what kind of suffering you have gotten yourself into. But always remember that not a single part of it is your fault. That's why you are called a victim, and the one who sexually abused you is called an offender. Above all, don't let the title of victim control your direction in life. bopsass

In every case that I have known thus far, there is no single victim who did not suffer and struggle with the feeling of shame. It is actually a part of the traumatic experience and by overcoming it; survivors start to heal the wounds of the abuse. But unlike long term effects such as post traumatic stress disorder, dissociative disorders, alcohol and substance abuse, and others, shame is just a temporary emotion. However, it should not be regarded as something that's easy to overcome. In fact, the very reason why a lot of victims don't recover is because they cannot fight back the fear of being embarrassed. sexual assault tauranga

So how do we relate shame with recovery and healing?

People who allow shame to consume them after suffering from child sexual abuse will never have a chance to heal and recover. This is because they fear that if other people know about the abuse, they will see it as something that degrades a person's worth and reputation. Thus, they will never disclose or reveal it to other people. The failure of disclosure then leads to the failure of getting help. How can a victim of child sexual abuse be healed when no one knows about it?

The feeling of shame is considered both as a mindset and a product of emotion. A victim sees himself as someone whose self-worth has been significantly reduced or torn into pieces. While it's quite natural to be fearful of what others would say and how they would treat you by the time they find out you've been abused, that same kind of fear is still preventable. It's not that it should be tolerated, since allowing the fear of shame and embarrassment will only lead to more serious long term effects of the abuse like stress disorder and irrational behavior. sexually assaulted Tauranga

While there are several aftereffects of child sexual abuse, shame is one of those that quickly surfaces. It is actually natural to feel that way but it isn't healthy. By the time the child victim suffers the abuse, the act itself is more than just a typical physical and sexual abuse, it injects a kind of lasting imprint onto the victim - an imprint that contains fear, anger, and shame. These three effects appear immediately after the act is done. While the abuser escapes unharmed and satisfied, the victim is left suffering from shame of facing other people, fear of the possibility that it may happen again, and anger towards the abuser.

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